Today I’m thankful for calculators.

Don’t get me wrong. I love math. Algebra? I do it for fun. Calculus? Where do I sign up? Give me a complicated equation. Throw some Xs and Ys in there, it’s all good. I’m good at figuring stuff out. It just makes sense to me. It’s the basic math I struggle with. Multiplication tables? Anything over 5 x 5 makes me take pause. What is 7 x 9? Fuck if I know! I mean, I know it’s more than 2. I know it’s less than 1,000. Wait, there’s a finger trick for this one, isn’t there?

Nick laughs at me whenever I pay at a restaurant. I have no problem figuring out the tip. No, my struggle is adding the tip to the total. I finally quit trying to round my total to a whole number because it caused me too much stress.

So thank you, calculator, for making my life that much easier.

For your listening pleasure while you read:

Today I am thankful for, as I’m sure many people are, the right to vote. I’m glad I live in a country where we get to elect the people who are in charge. Everyone’s opinion counts, even if half of you vote wrong. ;)

Last night I watched Jimmy Kimmel. He made a good point about voting. He said one of the excuses people use for not voting is that they don’t think their vote matters, to which he replied people do a lot of things that don’t matter. It was funny, but he was right.

I will admit that I don’t vote in every election, and I don’t always fill out the ballot completely. I have, however, voted in every presidential election since I’ve been of age and one non-presidential election that I can remember. I was eighteen. I went with my mom to the little church by our house where the polling place was. It was scary and exciting and I felt like such an adult.

When I was in elementary school, they taught us about voting and politics and women’s voting rights and all that other crap I don’t remember. The one thing that did stick with me was voter privacy. This is something I take very seriously. I never disclose whom I vote for. I’m not even sure if I’ve ever discussed it with my husband. Here’s my reasoning:

Politics can be very personal. People are passionate about it. Just look at your Facebook and Twitter feeds. I don’t want to cause a rift between those close to me simply because of my political opinion. Sure we may agree now, but if I talk to you about it, and four years from now I’m suddenly silent, you’re going to get suspicious. I’d rather keep my choices private.

With that being said, I did vote for Jesse Ventura in the above mentioned non presidential election. I’m pretty sure I voted for Ross Perot in my elementary school poll. (He won, for those interested.) Also, today I voted NO to limit the right to marry. Honestly, if you don’t agree with gay marriage, you don’t have to participate in it. I have a pamphlet of 77 non-religious reasons why marriage should be between one man and one woman that I picked up at a church. I find approximately 100% of the reasons either religious, completely irrelevant, or downright ridiculous. I was going to blog about it, but it made me too ragey to form coherent thoughts.

This is the fourth presidential election I’ve voted in. I think it’s the most “lesser of two evils” I’ve ever experienced. Without disclosing whose circle I completely filled in with a solid dark mark, my prediction is that Obama will be spending another 4 years in office.

Today I am thankful for massages. I get a massage at least once a month. I don’t get one at a fancy salon or the gym or a massage specialty place. Nope, I go to Rhonda, an independent woman who knows her shit. Her magic fingers weasel their way between my muscle fibers and find not only the problems spots that have been ailing me, but issues I never even knew existed. I hope she never retires or moves away because I am spoiled for life. I couldn’t imagine going to anyone else.

I’m a firm believer that massage can heal a wide array of things if done by someone well trained. When I started seeing Rhonda, I could barely turn my head all the way to one side. My arms wouldn’t even straighten when relaxed at my sides. It’s been three and a half years since the first day I walked into her office, and man do I feel great.

In fact, I had a massage tonight. I’m a little stinky and slippery from the oils, but the cat doesn’t seem to mind because she’s all up on me. Blogging with limited arm motion is hard.

Today I am reminded of how thankful I am for atomic clocks.

I remember back in the day, running around and changing all the clocks in the house. The windy ones were the worst. Sometimes I’d miss one. Sometimes I’d forget which ones I had done. And when you had two people setting them back, it could be a downright disaster. This was before cell phone and computers. Was there a TV guide channel back then? I don’t even remember, but if you got confused, you’d be screwed.

Atomic clocks are great, though I don’t think the technology is necessarily all there quite yet. Ironically enough, the oldest atomic clock in our house—a projection alarm clock Nick’s grandparents gave him for Christmas back in 2000—is the most reliable atomic clock we own. I’ve watched it before. The damn things goes from 1:59 to 1:00 or 3:00. It never fails.

The others? Not so much. It can sometimes take days for them to change. Last night, the strangest thing happened. The atomic kitchen clock read 3:03 am. The microwave read 4:03 am. I set the microwave back an hour and dinked around in the kitchen for a little bit. When I went to leave, the atomic clock read 4:07 am. Wait, what? How does that even happen? As of tonight, it’s still an hour ahead. Nick thought the microwave was wrong; I had to pull out my phone to prove I was right. (Pfft… like that needs proving ever.)

But even with the slightly sketchy delayed reaction of atomic clocks, it’s way better than the alternative. Within a few days, all of my clocks will be set to the correct time with little to no effort from me. Well, all except for the one in the basement, which will forever be 1:42 due to a dead battery.